what is wrong with me?

ok i am a terrible girlfriend, i know i allways decide that when im dating some1, but i am so commitment phobic its terrible. its just that ive liked michael for a really really long time, and he finally asked me out...so why do i feel like i want out?? i know why, i just hate to admit it...but hes not matt.
im going to make this one work tho. however i am a little suspicious, he just asked me out randomly, maybe he wasnt completly sober, or tired, or desperate or something. Maybe thats why i feel so unsure, it was just so random. but i keep on getting waves of complete happiness...im a girlfriend! sure my boyfriend isnt the person who ideally id like it to be...but he is the next best thing, and im happy...i think.
Whats wrong with me? why does it have to be that when im not in a relationship i spend forever dreaming that i was, and then wehn it finally happens i get scared. well forget it, this time im sticking with it. if he still wants to date me today and isnt having second thoughts, then im not going to break up with him. im talking to him...i am DEFINATLY not going to break up with him...hes perfect, he realyl is. well, in so far as hes not matt.
xoxo