I can dream can't i? -mama cass

I cant understand how one person can make me hate him while i love him. i dont mean im in love with this guy, that would go against me being me. when i see his screen name im in such a hurry to im him, it doesnt make a diference that i know i'll be depressed by the time our convo ends. and it doesnt matter how i know that i'll be counting the minutes before he answers each of my ims while i answer within 2 minutes of seeing his box flash orange! ugh! i just wish that i would get over him! hes over me! he hasnt said that but my scary ability to tell has rung my bell! its just so upsetting! i im him even tho i know he will have to go first, even if i say i have to go i know i'll just keep on chatting as long as i can! its just so fucking frustrating! I wish i had the courage to tell him how i still feel. i wish that i could bring up just once that i dont get thru a day without thinking of him or that every time i sign on i get disappointed that he isnt online. ugh!
xoxo