I have given up on a relationship with my brother. i realized i spent the past 3 years trying to maintain a relationship like the one in england,. but its me makign efforts. i change when im around him, i want to impress him. well fuck that, ive just stopped. im sick of always feeling like ime 7, feeling like hes so much cooler, so much better. he isnt. im always just 5 yeasrs younger than, always so little that im not to be taken seriously. fuck that. i never see him, i always im him, he never calls me. fuck it.