If only i had the courage to turn around and say:
"matt, ive spent the past few weeks trying to find some way to blame this all on you. the truth is, i can't. it doesnt change what i did, it doesnt take it back, but i thought over what i did, and if someone else did that to me, i dont think i could bear it. ive been trying to tell myself you are being unreasonable by not being able to look at me, but i cant even look at myself in the eyes anymore. im really really sorry. I'm ashamed and embarrased by myself/ i dont expect you to forget everything and ask me out, i dont expect you to ask me out at all,i dont deserve it, i just wanted you to know that i truly am sorry."