Oh what a world we live in...

I lost my backpack after rehearsal. i found it 15 minutes later sitting in the rain, about an inch outside of the canopy in the north quad. my books r really very wet. i have 2 tests and 4 quizzes tomoro...im gonna have fun trying to study. I haul my wet backpack down the stairs, unfortunatly my arms arent long enough and my backpack rubbed and soacked my leg. I get downstairs and stand in the rain waiting for my father. He pulled up with my brother...i love my brother, i think we all know that, but when my dad and him r in the car together and im in the back...well my presence wouldn't be missed. So i sit in the back of the car in traffic for half an hour listening to my brother and dad entusiaticly talk about the beatles (james is taking a course on the beatles at usc) and listening to abby road. Of course my mind begins to wonder...the rain, the sound of the beatles and the fact that james and dad's convo had switched from abby road to the office makes me think of my dream: I had been standing in westwood when a man came up to me and said he had a suprise for me. i get in his car and he drives me deep into the desert. i begin to realize he may rape me, and instead of being etrrified i think 'awesome, im gonna lose my virginity' as that crosses my mind we get out of the car. It took me a little while to realize where i was, i was in my house in england, or in the garden anyways. But i didnt live there of course, it was how it is now, with the current residents. i started to cry, everything was so vivid, i couldnt believe it. suddenly my brother was there and he took me into our house, through the kitched, up the back stairs that lead into my parents bedroom, through my secret passage way, into my bedroom. of course now a 17 year old boy sleeps in there, we walk in to see him lying in his bed crying. we walk into james' old bedroom and the 21 year old girl who sleeps theren now was in her bed crying. james ran to her and comforted her, i felt maybe i should see what was wrong with the boy (whos name is richard). when i went in he was laughing and talking on the fone. then my alarm went off and i woke up. At this point in reality, back in the car i mean, my dad and my brother drift back to abby road talk and we pull up at 857 malcolm avenue. i stared up at the house, not standing very tall, but very grey. I hated it. Mum had soup and some shitty whole foods microwave pie ready. dad sat with james and me as we ate and the concersation turned to tom. ive mentioned tom before, hes the boy who died last year, a very close family friend. apparently today would have been his 20th birthday. to remind us his parents sent us an email with a picture of his grave covered in cards and flags and flowers. It made him so real to me, hes lying there, rotting in a wooden box, six feet under ground, and hes only 20 years old. 2 decades, 4 and a hald years older than i am. then we all start to talk about car crashes and how this one drunk guy in england put a safety cone in the middle of the road for a joke and as he walked away he heard something crash and 2 sisters had seen the cone, swerved to avoid it and hit a tree. then james brings up this lovely story about these two girls who swerved off a bride and as the were falling they called their friend and told her tyo call the police, andf their friend was talking to them as they were going down and asked where they were and they were about to tell her when the fone cut out and they went into 34 ft of river. i decided this was too morbid so said 'i'm getting my permit in 2 weeks hopefully' and then stood up to leave. my dad said 'kate do you have an ear infection?' i said 'i dont know, maybe sometimes i am actually just upset, and have things on my mind. occasionally i dont have a condition!' as i walked out i heard my brother and father laugh.