"It reminds me that it's not so bad, its not so bad"

I remember the first time I ever heard it. It was so different from what i had expected. In another version, only featuring the first verse, it had seemed dark, and miserable. This version is almost Spanish. I felt so cool, it was the cool song. It made me belong in a group of people that i so desperatly wanted to belong to. A group of people who were only friends with me because i would be gone soon, and they felt that if they became my best friend now, my boyfriend now, that i would give them free trips to california. i was envied, i enjoyed it. My bedroom was small, and joined straight to my parents with a closet...a closet we had made a secret passage. From the begining i span to this song. It just seemed like a spinning song. The lack of a large spinning space in my room made me painfully aware of how little else there was to there. I was so exited to be leaving, my mother told me, and i believed her, that all my dreams would come true, that i'd never look back. When the chorus came it was so happy, so upbeat, so unexpected. After the 4th time of listening to it, i was word perfect, and singing at the top of my lungs. I don't remember what i wore, probably huge flared jeans and a sweatshirt...the height of fashion. I remember where the cd player was, i recall opening the cd so exitedly. The thrill as the first notes filled my room.

I still listen to it today. I still sing. However I've controlled my spinning..not because i don't enjoy it, but because i'm too tired and lazy to now. My bedroom is bigger, if i were to spin, id feel out of control, wich is a nice break sometimes. The beginning no longer suprises me, i expect the drums, the spanish feel. What i don't expect is the sudden flashback, the sudden feel of the time, the smell of the room, the open window, the well made bed, the cluttered dressing table, the small room. Looking around, this room is so big, its perfect. its a mini apartment, spacious, well lit, mine. my parents room is down the hall, we have no secret passage way. There are moments now were hapiness floods my entire body, i tingle all over. i am reminded of how lucky i am to be here, instead of sitting on a round-a-bout in the middle of a muddy, wet field, being felt up by a guy i hardly know in order to get some attention. i am reminded of how privelaged i am. how i wouldn't change it for the word. When i want to feel nostalgic i listen to 'teenage dirtbag' by wheatus, when i want to be happy, to live in the now, but still remember the past, i put this song on. Immediatly i know that even if i was told i could go back now, without any memory of the past 4 years, i wouldn't. i wouldnt want to lose the memory's, the feelings, the friends, everything. i know if i went back now, id be miserable. i see my family only slightly less than i used to, i have more friends who like me for who i am, i have something to do on a saturday evening. more importantly i have one solid, good, reliable friend. a friend who knows everything about me, a friend who i know everything about. i have one incredible person always around to tell me if im doing something wrong, or if im doing something right. i have somebody who i love with my entire heart, somebody who i would never trade for every memory i cling on to so tightly. I never had that back there. I never had a Julia. i never had any of what i have now. of course i miss it, i lived there for 12 years, and here for only 3 and a half. when i have lived here for 12 years, england will only be a memory, a memory brought back by Dido. And every day here will have been the best day of my life.

Thank You - Dido

My tea's gone cold, I'm wondering why I
Got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window,
And I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be grey
But your picture on my wall
It reminds me that it's not so bad
It's not so bad

I drank too much last night, got bills to pay
My head just feels in pain
I missed the bus and there'll be hell today
I'm late for work again
And even if I'm there, they'll all imply
That I might not last the day
And then you call me and it's not so bad
It's not so bad

And I want to thank you
For giving me the best day of my life
Oh, just to be with you
Is having the best day of my life

Push the door,I'm home at last
And I'm soaking through and through
Then you handed me a towel
And all I see is you
And even if my house falls down now
I wouldn't have a clue
Because you're near me

And I want to thank you
For giving me the best day of my life
Oh, just to be with you
Is having the best day of my life