I was rereading all of my old blogs. i started from the beginning and read one page. I remember (I actually still do it) blogging about current events of the time but not wanting to say what was actually happening...like who i was mad at, or who i liked, etc. I remember (i still do) thinking that i could be as vague as i wanted, and id know what it meant but other people wouldnt. of course that doesnt make sense now (even though, like i said, i still do it)because a)anyone at all involved in the situation of the time would know what i was talking about, and b) i have no clue now, what i was talking about. it was only in June, but i dont remember half of the things i was talking about. on one post i said 'omg omg omg i have a boyfriend!!!' and i couldnt think of who i was dating in June...i didnt think anybody, and it wasnt until a later post that i mentioned who it was! (michael...only i didnt actually date him, cos he didnt remember asking me out...huh...). It was also interesting seeing how my writing styles reflected my personality of the time. I wrote about dramas with Matt, and other things that were really upsetting me, and looking back, i cant even remember how i felt, or if i can, it doesnt hurt anymore. its so odd, i was so incredibly affected by these seemingly 'life changing' events that i now wouldnt even remember if i hadnt blogged then. i wrote one entry that said 'i dont fit in here, its going to be hard to leave, but i know im going to have to. and no one has the slightest idea of what im talking about but its okay cos i do' or something like that, and i have no clue what i was talking about! i genuinly have no idea what was upsetting me so much. I also wrote about how hurt i was by my friends, about how i didnt know if i could ever trust them again...and because i didnt write why i was so mad, i don't know why i was anymore. i know though, that i do trust those friends again, i know because i havnt stopped trusting any of my friends in a long long long time...longer than that post was written. things that at the time seemed HUGE are barely even memories now...its so wierd the way that life works. i wonder if at our 10 year reunion (tell me we have those at bwood...) we'll remember the current dramas now. i wonder if the semi formal of sophmore year will come up in conversation, will we remember how much trouble went into figuring out the limos, how friendships were threatened with ending, and how many tears people shed. right now, i can't think of what else id remember in 10 years, i havnt experienced it yet. So right now, when i think of semi formal, i think of the limo situation, and i wonder, if in 10 years, i won't anymore. its so strange to think of what time does to things, how it wears away the pain and hurt of seemingly unforgettable feelings and experiences, and how it makes even 'the best days of our lives' just memories its so hard to think that in 10 years, things that i havn't even experienced yet, will just be a memory. this all came up because i read my past blogs...read yours, its sort of surreal...
xoxo
from the kate of now, to my friends of now

(how much of a geek will i seem when i reread that last sentence in a year or so? or maybe even a day or so...)