We had such a good thing

She turned her face to speak, but no one heard her cry
'You hate me!' I shouted to the sky
'Don't say that, he might strike you down'
'He's not there'

There was a time when I could say so surely and steadily that you exist. I found a comfort in your believing in your presence, and it was nice to feel that you had something in mind for me. I feel cold now knowing that you couldn't be there, and if you are that you aren't what I am told you are. but it isn't a lonely coldness, it's refreshing - I feel like I've been smothered all my life with religious bullshit, and now I may finally be free to feel whats real. 4 years ago...shit, it was 4 years ago...do you see what I mean? You take lives and make us struggle to figure them out and then just when we do you rip them away from us! But 4 years ago I made a deal with you. I promised you that if my father came home safely then I would pray everynight for 10 years. I never told you I would believe for 10 years...you can only hold the sheet over my eyes for so long...But I won't break my word, my father came home, and I will pray for 6 more years like I have the past 4. But it seems so pointless...praying to a deaf hero. What are you really? Where are you really? Where are you when people need you the most, and cry out to you to feed their children, or cure their poisened loved ones? What do you think you are to them when you don't deliver? You are nothing...nothing but a childrens tale that has been told too many times. And you are nothing to me anymore. I am on my own in this world, you will get used to that. It's only one less customer for you, but i'll bet you lose one customer a day. And you will continue to until you listen. LISTEN TO ME! I NEEDED YOU! I NEEDED YOU TO GIVE ME HOPE, A LIGHT, A PURPOSE, BUT YOU GAVE ME NOTHING! YOU LET ME CRY DAY AFTER DAY AND NIGHT AFTER NIGHT, AND YOU DIDN'T LET ANYBODY ELSE UNDERSTAND! Well it's up to me now, and damn it they will understand. They'll understand that I hurt...but not because of you.