The darkest light's before the dawn, you remember the sun but it sank

Where's my confidence gone? I stood in dance class, shaking at the bar. the shaking caused me to lose count, which made me fall behind. 'lift your head kate' 'shoulders back kate' 'hold your elbows kate' i knew all these things, so why wasn't i doing them? I looked at the clock and saw 45 minutes left, and each excersize was getting faster and harder. i felt like everyone in the class was staring at me, from the perfect teen infront of me, to the pregnant lady opposite, and the 70 yr old with the awful face lift in the splits to the left. how could i compete with any of that? i havnt danced in 5 years, why did i assume that it would all come back so easily? By the time we moved into the middle i was having a breakdown and sat the last 2 excersizes out. its so frustrating trying to do something that used to come so easily. My mother greeted me, face shining, full of expectation, and through cloudy eyes i had to tell her i was best suited for a beginners class. You shouldn't seen the look on her face. i dont get good grades, i dont do sports, i dont act, dancing was my thing and here i can't do it. when i was putting on my shoes two american women started speaking french to each other, which reminded me of how i couldn't do that either. i feel like a complete failure.