If only you could dance

I turned every corner full of anticipation, heart full of hope. The empty streets could have crushed me, i battled between knowing that we'd cross eventually, and wondering if I was on the wrong road. Down a hill. Up a hill. I wasn't sure if it was you at first, and even long after i had placed the walk, the manerisms and the body type i kept on walking. In my head I debated whether to walk right past, joke that I didn't know you. were you making eye contact? Was I walking strangely, suddenly I was very away of my hands, a self conscious scratch of my nose and push back of my hair. You stopped right infront of me, smiled your new smile, grapped my face and kissed me. I'm never sure if you want to hold hands or not, you always make the gesture but after a few paces let go. its only at a red light when you pull me close that i feel completely comfortable. 'Never go away again' I hear myself saying before it's too late to hide the vulnerability. Stupid me, stupid stupid me. on the inside, i mentally kick myself, but you kiss my forhead and ask when we're going away together. In the arcade you beat me at air hockey, I wasn't sure if I was even attempting to play, but it was worth it for the victory kiss and playful high five you gave me. Then i beat you at racing and felt so guilty on seeing your shamed face, mum was right when she told me to always let the guy win.
I think it's cute how you sit on the opposite end of the couch from me when my family is around. they know we're together, and i'm sure they're not stupid enough to believe that we're following a 50's mentality. And you prove it when we're alone, kissing my cheek, neck, and lips. I think you've relaxed around me now, and thats why we like to be alone together.
After the movie ended we lay together half asleep, i could hear your heart echoing mine, and feel your breath on my hair. One of your hands found mine and played with my fingers and the other reached for my chin and tilted my face to you. you didn't kiss me like i was expecting you to, but stared. I looked right back, my hand resting on your cheek, yours brushing my hair out of my face. I don't think we moved for 10 minutes, just lying there and making an unspoken connection. I couldn't quite see the colour of your eyes, we were too close for details. but thats what made it so special, we saw no bodies or features, no impurities of the outside, only what was beyond. i couldn't see your sun burn, just smell your tanned skin and shampoo. It felt like nothing in the world could break us, but of course a sudden shock of your vibrating phone against the table made us blink. 'i love you' you said. i never believe you when you say it, any more than you believe me when i mirror it back. But i saw what you meant and trusted it. and in my heart i felt it too.