All these squawking birds won't quit

My body's shaking and I can't stop it. I started it. This endless fight i thought had ended. i just don't understand, this year was supposed to be great! it was supposed to make up for last year. My head's pounding now. it's hot and i can't cool it. the need to go back grows and it grows, until eventually its all gone. I got rid of it. I don't want it back. Who thought this day would come? I've turned into the girls I hate. Do you know what this year brought that last year didn't? this new member to the foundation...humiliation. I've surrendered to it, I can't fight it anymore. I've accepted it and everything it includes. maybe i gave in too easily, but it was time. My stomach hurts, it's twisted and tangled. I can't fix it. i can't set everything straight. School does this, it claws away at me, at my throat, my stomach, my gutt. it scraches and it burns. it insists until finaly it's one step closer to it's goal. i hate it, i can't stand it, i fear it. Oh how heavy I've become.