No no no have you no ambition?
I babysat after school today.
I have a confession.
I did it to try an cure myself of this feeling. A deep nagging from deep within. A yearning, and a pining. A lonliness, and an emptiness.
I want a baby.
Not in 10 years time, not even in 5. Now. I know I sound crazy, it would ruin my life, right? I'd drop out of school, id lose my social life, id lose sleep, id miss out on being a teenager. But something in me tells me its worth it.
Someone to love me unconditionally, even if its just for 10 years. Someone to depend entirely on me, someone to call my name in the night, and run to me for comfort and support. someone who believes that i can solve every problem in their life. Someone to dedicate everything to. Someone to give my life a meaning and a purpose.
I don't want any worried phone calls to me or my mother, i'm going to kill this feeling, i won't actually follow through...when have i ever followed through in my life? I'm going to baby sit every day after school. I'm going to fix this.
I have a confession.
I did it to try an cure myself of this feeling. A deep nagging from deep within. A yearning, and a pining. A lonliness, and an emptiness.
I want a baby.
Not in 10 years time, not even in 5. Now. I know I sound crazy, it would ruin my life, right? I'd drop out of school, id lose my social life, id lose sleep, id miss out on being a teenager. But something in me tells me its worth it.
Someone to love me unconditionally, even if its just for 10 years. Someone to depend entirely on me, someone to call my name in the night, and run to me for comfort and support. someone who believes that i can solve every problem in their life. Someone to dedicate everything to. Someone to give my life a meaning and a purpose.
I don't want any worried phone calls to me or my mother, i'm going to kill this feeling, i won't actually follow through...when have i ever followed through in my life? I'm going to baby sit every day after school. I'm going to fix this.
1 Comments:
This desire is not a problem in itself. If you don't mind my saying so, it is a problem beyond kids. This longing of attachment and dependency is from someone else which i feel is projected this way right now. I swear I love kids and I have been at identical standpoints.
I am glad that you know that it is not practical or wise at this stage. Everything has a time and no one can stop your time to have a baby to come...u know?
Until then, redirect your energies some place else...I aint sure baby sitting is the greatest idea. Although their endless crying may turn you off...lol...I dunno if that's ur plan :) Jus playing.
Enjoy your childhood! (I always consider teenage as the real childhood, weird reasonings)
And one last thing..lol..motherly instincts and home center plays are a part of every child (esp girls) growing up. Congratualtions on a normal journey :)
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